Because my little sister told me to!

I didn't want to. I still really don't want to. But I'm gonna...because my little sister told me to!

No one really wants to be categorized by a disease that kicked their butt even if they are surviving it. The fact of the matter is that danged thing called breast cancer has defined my life since the day I was informed I had it (April Fools Day, I kid you not!) A lot of people say it and probably no one believes it but it's still true, breast cancer sure did wake me up to the concept of GRATITUDE! I'm not going to go into it all right now, maybe later. That was a whole lot I didn't know about myself, a whole lot more that I thought I would never think, feel, or do -- all of which I have over the last year!

There are a few things that I want to be the first things I say about the whole experience. There is no one in the whole world I owe more for their continued daily support than my little sister, Heather. She cried with me when I found out. She went to almost all of the doctor appointments and if you knew how she feels about needles alone, let alone the rest of the crap that I had done -- you'd know just how wonderful this woman is! She took care of me in her home for about six weeks while I recovered enough to be able to go to my home (next door, I kid you not--again!) And she still supports me and encourages me to keep going on the quitting smoking, working out, trying to lose all that glorious weight that adjuvent therapy (drugs...) piles on. Everyone should be so blessed to have a sister like Heather. She'll want to smack me for saying it but she is an angel on earth. So there, Heather! Thank you, thank you, thank you....forever. And this blog is all because of you because you told me, too. Just like you told me to get an exam and a mammogram. Thank you, thank you, thank you again and again and again.

The second thing: I have the bestest daughter in the whole world! She came home to Virginia from New York just to be by my side in the days before the surgery and for months afterward she'd call me almost every day to make sure I was getting back on my feet. I was only half kidding when I'd say: "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!" I love you Wendy. Thank you for the assignments that got me back into society, back to work, back on the path to fulfillment. Thank you for being my daughter.

The third thing: I was hurting, depressed (chemically, folks. Dang drugs may save one's life but they sure as heck can screw it up, too!), confused and kind of felt helpless and wondered sometimes why I was even trying. Then I heard this guy's voice. I'd heard him sing before but couldn't find out who he was from just one listen. Thank you Starbucks! Heather and I went to grab a coffee on one of my earlier ventures out of the house after the surgery and I heard him singing again! A different song but I recognized the voice and the patter. I asked the Barrista -- do you know who this guy is? Please tell me you do! He points to a CD Starbucks was selling: "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things." Jason Mraz. I promptly bought every album he'd made. Every song went on my iPod. My iPod is now named "Jason". Every day that I could ride the 10-15 miles of the W&OD Trail, every day that I could work out at the gymn trying to get my body back, I had his music in my ears. Singing, humming, or whistling the whole way. When I could finally sit for more than a couple of hours, Heather drove me to Toronto, Canada to see Jason. He answered the question for me: getting to hang out with this man in his performing living room (otherwise known as a stage, but it felt more comfortable than that) and just party for awhile with a few thousand other people, singing and high-fiving and catching pictures while he sips on tea and sings away -- THIS is one reason to keep trying! Dude, you may make music because you have to, because it's what you are about -- but, personally, I think your fans are getting the best part of the deal! You are the ONLY performer I've ever felt this way about. That sure says a lot about you! Thank you, Jason Mraz. Stay you.

There are a whole lot more people to thank and I will. Dad, Mom, Joanne, Bill&Karen, Doreen. Lucky for me, it looks like I may just have the time to do it!

But for now...off to bed.